While this is very true for writers, it is also true in life.
While this is very true for writers, it is also true in life.
Comparisons. We all do it—we compare ourselves to others. Does he write better than me? Is she more successful than I am? And we find that we’re not as good as some, and we are better than others. Or so it seems.
However, this is misleading at best, and dangerous at worst. What we perceive is not always what is really there. And what we compare ourselves to might be an incorrect image built up in our minds, supported by fear and self-doubt.
First, it’s important to understand that each of us is on a different path, our own unique journey. Someone else is on a different path. We have different skills and abilities, we write in different genres, and we aim for a different audience. We have different writing styles, different stories, different characters, and a different voice. So a comparison is not helpful at all.
Second, what we usually end up comparing is our inner insecure selves—our fears and self-doubts, with the perceived outer performance of someone else. However, what we see is the mask they show the world—the accomplishments that they share. That is not a fair comparison. We do not see their inner fears and doubts, which we all have. And we do not often acknowledge or appreciate our own accomplishments, which others may look up to. It’s not an equal comparison, and it never can be. You can’t compare the hidden inner world of one with the visible outer world of another. It just doesn’t work.
And even if someone else is more accomplished than we are, or has published or sold more books, remember that you don’t see how they started. We all start at the beginning—and they most likely started exactly where you are now, and it took many years, struggles, difficulties, and hardships for them to get where they are. No one is an accomplished, successful author at the beginning. So it’s not an equal comparison there, either. You can’t compare a beginner to an experienced person—we all start as beginners. And we all can work our way up to being experienced and successful.
Third, the only person we should compare ourselves to is who we used to be. We are not here to be better than anyone else, but to be better than who we were before. We should strive to improve—and to take pride in that when we do. Have you written a short story or poem? Wonderful! Have you outlined a story in a fantasy world? Excellent! Appreciate and love that! Take pride in it—in every step and accomplishment.
So as for comparisons—they are either inaccurate, inappropriate, or unhelpful. Or all three. My best advice is to let all comparisons go, and simply work on being the best that you can be. And support everyone else in being the best that they can be. There is room for all of us to succeed and do well.
And the best way to get there is to learn as much as you can, keep improving, and take pride in where you are. Enjoy the entire path of writing and publishing, every step along the way, and appreciate each moment. You deserve to be happy, no matter where you are on the journey.
You have unique abilities, unique stories, and a unique voice. No one can tell your story or do it the way you can. You fill a niche no one else can.
So let go of comparisons. Believe in yourself—because you truly are amazing.
Comparisons? They can bring you down. Forget them.
Know that you are awesome!
About The Author:
LYNN MICLEA grew up in New York and moved to California while in her twenties. A certified hypnotherapist, Reiki master practitioner, and musician, with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, she has held many jobs but has always loved reading and writing stories.
After retiring, Lynn further pursued her passion for writing, and she is now a successful author with many books published and more on the way.
She has published numerous books of nonfiction (memoirs and self-help guided imagery), and children’s stories (animal stories about kindness and helping others), and is currently publishing several books of fiction (thrillers, paranormal, and romance).
She hopes that through her writing, she can help empower others and add more joy and love to the world. She asks everyone to be kind to each other as we all share this journey through life together.
Lynn currently lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and two dogs.
Copyright © 2018 Lynn Miclea. All Rights Reserved.
Don’t say “I wish I made more money” or “I wish I could finish this novel” or “I wish this publishing company would accept my work.” If there is a change you want to see in any area of your life, you have to get up and make it happen! Never stop adding value to yourself, never stop practicing your craft and never stop building the life that you dream of! Words have power and YOU control that power! Use it wisely.
Powerful stories are remembered for ages to come. They resonate deep within us, invoking an intense emotion long after we’ve read them. Sometimes, the sadder or more shocking the ending, the more we remember that story above all others. That is why I say it is perfectly okay to break our hearts, even when it’s a romance story.
If every story ended with “and they all lived happily ever after,” there would be no push to make it all the way to the end. I don’t know about you, but sometimes serious complications preventing the protagonists (or almost doing so) can be more of a surprise to me than the normal Disney/fairytale ending I grew up loving. However, “happily ever after” is and always will be a much loved and sought-after ending. But it’s not a requirement in my book.
What we want is for you to make us feel the love. We want to feel the connection to the protagonists. We want to root for them. We want to cry with them, triumph with them, love alongside them. We want to remember them.
So don’t be afraid to follow your story wherever it leads you. Not every story has to have a happy ending. Some simply need closure. So there’s a dead body in your romance story? Great. That could fall under the mystery/romance category if you set it up right. Luckily, we don’t discriminate against genre blending. That aspect of your story could be what makes it stand out to your readers—and to us—and the feeling it invokes could be remembered for years to come.
The key word here is powerful. Show us what love means to your characters. Show us how they act when they’re in love, how it changes them—for better or for worse. Use words and description that convey that deep connection between your characters. Then throw obstacles in their way and watch them fight to be together. Be it physical or abstract, obstacles add tension and keep the readers interested in the story.
Whatever your story entails, don’t be afraid to break our hearts. Sometimes, the most powerful thing a reader can take away from your story is a lesson learned, inspiration from how the protagonists keep going in the midst of their own heartaches, or how they keep their hearts open to love even after experience tells them they shouldn’t.
And of course, we always love a “happily ever after” ending, and so do readers everywhere, especially if it’s full of hope after a long struggle. Again, don’t make it easy for your characters and your readers will appreciate the triumph that much more.
Jessica Victoria Fisette is the author of The Soul Reaper series, The Aldurian Chronicles, and various short stories including the short story series Elves of the Blood Moon. You can also read more of her works in the first Writers Unite! Anthology: Realm of Magic. Her hobbies include discovering the benefits of natural medicine, wine tasting, and trying new recipes in the kitchen. She likes to unwind by typing out a scene or two in her latest obsession or indulging in a good book. Having been passionate about writing since she was a little girl, she is constantly coming up with new ideas for future stories and creating unique, strong-willed—albeit flawed—characters to overcome the difficult obstacles she places before them. Having spent all her life in rural Southeast Texas, she appreciates the tranquility of country living and hopes to implement such a love for nature into her beautiful, ever-so-curious little girl.
You can follow her by clicking the links below.
Writing is lonely work. At least, that is the opinion of friends of mine who are not writers. They ask, how can you sit at a computer all day and not talk to anyone? Somehow, telling them, I’m never alone and that I talk to my characters would likely not reassure them being alone is good for me.
The fact is that despite the witty or testy or romantic conversations we have with our creations, writing is lonely work.
My career provided a writing outlet. I wrote research papers, training, operations, and policy manuals, newsletters, and media advertising copy. While necessary within the scope of my work and writing advertising was challenging, I never felt fulfilled. When time to write presented itself, I took the plunge. I started writing fiction.
As an only child, the solitude of writing was never a concern. What I did discover was that the support provided by co-workers, those who possessed proper grammar, or could help with a word or phrase or paragraph was conspicuously absent. While Google is our friend, spewing out all sorts of information about point of view, world building or when to use ‘who or whom,’ bouncing ideas off of Google is not possible, and Siri quit talking to me.
Writers need human contact. We may sit at our keyboards, fighting aliens for control of the universe, playing detective to catch a serial killer or write about a first kiss while lost in our imaginary worlds, but we need each other. We may have a question about the correct verb tense to use, or how to phrase a sentence or redo a paragraph that is driving us to eat ice cream by the pint.
We need each other.
The question becomes where do you go to find such support?
I first found a local writing group and was quite pleased with the members and the cordial but targeted feedback. However, meeting once a month and an inactive Facebook page didn’t provide the interaction I was hoping to have with other writers. Having listened to the “experts’ who drilled that a writer needs a social platform, I joined Facebook and searched for writing groups.
Still, I was dissatisfied. The groups I joined either devolved into cliques or arguments. Then I was asked to join the Facebook group Writers Unite! and I found a home. A writing group that focused on writing and attempted to keep discourse to a minimum. A haven for writers of all levels of expertise to share their work, gain constructive feedback and learn from each other.
This is what a lonely writer needs. We need to know someone who understands our struggles and is willing to listen to our questions and give their advice. Someone who will read our work and respectfully provide critique. We may have our characters to chat with, but we need each other to complete our goals.
Thanks to all who have joined us, as Writers Unite! on Facebook has grown to a membership rapidly approaching 15,000 in one year. As we expand our outreach to the web with the launch of the “Writers Unite!” blog, we hope you will join us in our goal to learn and improve our writing.