Ha-ha! What a funny title! Of course, this can’t possibly be a blog telling someone they’re stupid and that their writing sucks. That’s insensitive, and possibly wrong, right? Yeah, no. This is really an essay on making yourself better. Stated plainly, you can’t get better if you don’t know you need help. Sure, plenty of writers have a hard time, thinking their writing is below average, but there’s a very good reason for that. It’s called math, and writers aren’t generally very good at math. By definition, half of everything ever written is below average. That’s what makes it the average!
Okay, so how do you get on the right side of the coin? You can take all kinds of courses and classes and read all the books that claim they will make you great and you could still be lousy. Feeling better yet? You want to know how to get better? This isn’t the essay for that. You might as well stop reading. The truth is, I don’t care if you’re a good writer or not. I don’t care, and most other writers don’t care, and your neighbor doesn’t care, and neither does their cat. Some self-help books are written for a very specific reason . . . to sell self-help books. If you become a great writer, you may not buy any more of their self-help books. Where would they be then?
I’ll tell you what I want when I read a book. I want to enjoy the book. I don’t give a hang about where the author lives or what the author eats or who the author votes for. I just want a good story. You write a good story and you’ll be a good writer. Too simple? It comes so easy for some people. Yep. That’s the way life is. So, is this one of those tough love type columns? No. I really don’t care about you.
Here, then, is the value of this essay. Only you can prevent forest fires. There is so much value put in buying your way into being a good writer. There is so much coddling of sub-par writers. Nobody wants to hurt anybody’s feelings. Hey, I get it. Who wants to be barraged with a thousand hate-filled posts about what a butt you are for saying something mean (not that I would know)? You’ve got to do you. When I was learning to write comic book scripts, I was fortunate enough to have a professional school me on just how rough my drafts were. I must have rewritten that stupid script a dozen times. Each time, he would absolutely tear it into little bitty pieces. I had read the books. I had even had stories accepted, and I thought I knew what I was doing. It was very ‘Dunning-Kruger’ of me. I was stupid and my writing sucked, and I was extremely fortunate to have somebody tell me that (over and over).
Be smart enough to find somebody better than you (at least half the population) who you feel you can trust. Let yourself be torn apart, BUT only about your writing. Prepare yourself, expect bad news, accept bad news. Write and rewrite and write again. Listen to how stories and conversations actually work. Pay attention to life to develop an ear. If you really want to be better, know that you are one of the ones who has to put the work in. Other people are born with it, not you. You must work at it because you are stupid and your writing sucks and nobody cares . . . until you do. Be a better writer because you want to actually write better, not because you want accolades. Be smarter about your talent because you are paying attention, not because you want people to be in awe of you.
Okay, the secret of this essay is that most of the time, it’s narrated by you. One of the truths is that we can always better ourselves, but there will always be critics. Another truth is that nobody will care about your stories or your abilities unless you do. If you think you are a bad writer, you will be. If you think you are a great writer, you’re probably wrong. Never think you’re a great writer. That’s one sure way to not be a great writer. Always tell the best story you can. Care about your work. Then, the next time you tell a story, tell a better one.
David Noe has several books published by Amazing Things Press (novels, short story and novella collections, poetry, even some humorous, etcetera). He is co-founder and editor at InDELLible Comics. yadayadayadabuymybooksonamazon
His author page on facebook is https://www.facebook.com/tradeofthetricks/